Not Today

Well.

It's been a while.

Okay, I have a good excuse for not writing for about six months. 

Let me rewind and go back a little.



Sophomore year- Done.

Summer- Done.

Killing myself over my Junior of college- Still in progress. 

Alright, alright, you're probably wanting more details than that.  Let's see, over the summer I worked as a lifeguard for a summer camp for kids.  Oh the memories of lifeguarding..... not all of them are good.

My summer really wasn't all that exciting.  I certainly didn't go on a grand adventure to Europe like I did two years ago.  I didn't spend half the summer exploring Flagstaff like I did last year.  This year I worked and at the end of July, I went on a cross country road trip with my parents and my brother and sister-in-law.  All the pictures are on my old phone, so I'll go into greater detail on that at another time.  I know, the suspense must be killing you. 

The biggest thing to come out of my summer is an idea for a book.  I won't go into much detail because what's the fun in that?  Let's just say that I either have super weird (and slightly disturbing) dreams, or dreams that give me great ideas that my creativity can take and run with.  The idea for my book (actually books) was one of those instances.  So instead of spending more time writing for my blog, like I should have been, I have spent the last several months in hyper creative mode, constructing a story and writing.  Oh, and also drawing, because I am a visual learning and I feel better connected to my characters if I sketch them out.  I'll try and post some of those too.

Either way, this is just a quick update to say that I am in fact still alive.  I will post more, but not today (see that clever tie in to the title?  You can thank Twenty One Pilots for that inspiration).

P.S.  I have come to realize that I am a terrible photographer when it comes to documenting my life.  I'd like to say that I have good pictures to post but I don't.... I just have double-chinned snapchats that no one but my roommates should have to witness.... I'll try and do better by the time Thanksgiving rolls around.

Alright, I'm done.  This girl still has to start her homework. 
 

Things I Can Do Now That I'm An Adult (Kinda)

It hit me a couple days ago that my birthday is in a month.  In a few short weeks, I will no longer be a teenager. I'll be the big 2-0. Now, I'm not exactly sure how it works, but I'm pretty positive that things will magically change once the clock hits midnight on May 8th.


Wait.

What? What do you mean I won't gain a vast amount of knowledge about life as soon as I turn 20?!

That's okay. I've learned that there things I can do since I am an adult (but not a real adult yet, because the real world is scary).

- If I want to wear a cardigan more than once a week, I am perfectly fine to do so. In fact, everyone is. Go ahead, try it.The Fashion Police are not going to come find you and express their disappoint in your wardrobe choice. Mostly because you're probably not famous, so they won't care. No one cares. Hey, wear it three times a week for all I care ( Which I don't, because I may or may not have done that this week. But it was one time! Quit judging).

-When I accidentally drop a plate, I don't have to be sad about it! When I was little, I would be so heartbroken for having shattered one of my parent's plates. But when I broke my own, It happened to be the funniest thing to have happened to me that day. It also happened to be about one in the morning after an extremely long day, so take that information how you will.

- I can blow up marshmallow peeps in my microwave to my heart's content without my parents making me eat them afterwards. And that, my friends, is a beautiful freedom.

Because, let's face it; peeps are gross.

-  I can lay on the floor in utter defeat because sometimes life is hard. (Throwing a mini grown-up tantrum is acceptable, right? Right?!)

At any rate, turning 20 in a few months really won't change much, because apparently, nothing is stopping me from ridiculous things that are only deemed appropriate when you happen to be a college student. Go figure.

An Accidental Spring Break

Right now, I'm in the middle of my Spring Break, and it has...turned out differently than I originally intended.  My first plan was to go to Utah and spend time with family in Logan and Provo.  That changed when I had to work on Monday and Tuesday.  I decided to stay in Flagstaff and just do things with friends.  

So far I have:

-Unsuccessfully tried to light steel wool on fire at Lake Mary (we ended up watching a movie about a giant spider. Ended up being a pretty good night).  

-Spent Monday afternoon in Sedona where I rediscovered that the world is full of interesting people.  But hey, it's a beautiful town.... almost too beautiful.

One of the interesting people I found in a gift shop.

Twinkie got some sun in the surreal city that is Sedona.

-Had a crepe dinner with friends and watched a Norwegian movie about a troll hunter (I guess my friends and I just like to see how many weird movies we can watch).

-Gone hiking in Oak Creek Canyon for the first time.  I didn't get any pictures, but I guess that only gives me an excuse to do it again. 

-Driven down to Scottsdale to catch a Diamond Backs game for spring training.  We also drove up to the South Mountain to overlook the valley before the rain came in.  Oh, and I also bought a Snuggie from Goodwill.  

 

Currently, I am sitting on the floor in my bedroom, waiting for my mom to roll into town.  We're going to Phoenix tomorrow morning.

It's not what I had in mind for the perfect spring break, but I guess just because you want something different, doesn't mean that what you've already got is pretty dang good.

Season's Greetings

Flagstaff, Arizona; where the weather's made up and the seasons don't matter.

Would you believe me if I told you that only a few weeks ago, I was playing soccer barefoot outside?
Well it's true, and I had a broken toenail picture to prove it (but I won't post that here, no one needs that mental image).  The weather in Flag had gotten so nice, people were proclaiming something about global warming and the end of the world.  For me, it just seemed like a good excuse to do minimal homework and maximum fun.  Kayleen and I ended up taking a Saturday to go hiking and it was a day well spent.

While the weather was absolutely beautiful, I did kind of missed the idea of winter.  I thought it would be fun for once to go snowboarding with snow that didn't have to be pre-made.  Looks like I got what I wished for.  Two weeks ago, we were hit with a storm that gave us a foot in a day.

No complaints on my end.

Unfortunately, midterms got in the way, and I didn't get to enjoy the snow as much as I would have wanted.  In any case, the snow didn't last too long and we're now looking at spring showers.

Yeah, Flagstaff is weird.

Now, that I think about it, I don't really know why I felt the need to write about the weather of northern Arizona.  I guess, if anyone is wanting to move here, consider yourself warned.

Fantômes de Guerre

This has been a very difficult post for me to write. Usually I get an idea and I can bust out a few paragraphs in no time. I'm posting this after over a year of it sitting in my drafts. That's not to say that this will be the best post of all time, but hopefully someone will get something out of my muddled thoughts.

  

There are many different war memorials and museums that I visited on my trip. This was to be expected, of course; many of the battles fought in both world wars took place in France, a country where we spent a lot of our time. I came to notice something that I haven't observed as much in the US. The land seemed scarred. Countrysides that had been marred by artillery shells, trenches that had been sliced through the earth, villages left as just a little more than heaps of rubble. All of these wounds of war were just left there. They were ghosts of warfare that happened nearly a century ago.

After visiting Verdun, France, and Fort De Douaumont, my party and I came to the conclusion that perhaps the French people left things as they were because it was a part of their past.  Instead of covering up the scars, or putting everything on display, they left it.  War history is so engrossed in their past, it's something that defines the country.

There's a lot that I wish I could say about these photos.  I wish I could write my thoughts eloquently as to why these were some of my favorite pictures from the trip.  But a picture has a thousand words, so I'll let them do the talking.

 

   

Change......No, not that kind of change, Mr. President.

It's funny to see how much things can change and you don't really notice the magnitude of those changes until they are a thing of the past. I've been through a lot of changes this past semester. Some of them were good. Some not so much. I learned something from all of them.  With some, I'm still trying to learn.

One big change was moving apartments. We went from a 2 bed/2 bath for around $1300 to a 2 bed/1.5 bath for $975. Needless to say, we're liking this change a lot.

As is my wallet.

Sterling Pointe (old and busted)

Aspen Shadows (new hotness)

Another adjustment was saying goodbye to two of my best friends for 18 months while they serve missions for our church. We've known each other since we were 10 and it's amazing to see them grow and serve the Lord. Valon left in August and is serving in Boston. Payge left last month and she is in Salt Lake City.  

Kayleen, Valon, Payge, and me!

So, what is the point of this post you may ask? Not sure. To quote Michael Scott,

Anyway, considering that it's the end of January, I've been thinking about all the new year's resolutions that I've already broken... scratch that; all the new year's resolutions that I never even started.
Yeah, that's more like it.

But, there's no time like the present. So, I decided to work on one goal at a time and once I've masted that, I can slowly add to the list. The inspiration behind my first goal is this quote that I found on Pinterest (the crowning jewel of social media in my humble opinion).

Ah, Pinterest, you just know the way straight to my heart. But in all honesty, I love this quote.  

And that's what I plan to do this year. I plan to dance; when life is hard and the music you dance to sucks, (especially if it's a remix of ANY kind). I plan to get out there and give it my best Carlton. 

I think everyone could do a little more dancing.

Who Knew I Didn't Run the World?

"Bloom where you're planted."


I found this quote several months ago, and I decided to make it my personal goal. If there's anything that I've learned from living in Flagstaff, it's that I can't always control how things go in my life, but I can choose how to react to them.

I can't control when I have three group projects due the week before finals.

I can't control my apartment management being so difficult that my roommates and I have spent the last two months dealing with them while finding a new place.

I can't control the attitude's of my friends that don't like Flagstaff as much as I do and are counting the days until they get to leave.


Control is an interesting word. It holds so much power to it. There's little room for leeway or discussion.  It's absolute.
But you know what word holds as much or more power?  Choice. The ability for us to make our own decisions and carve our own path. That is true power. It's the mastery of oneself. Not because life is meticulously planned out and controlled, but because we have the power to define ourselves by the things that we can't change. To bloom where we're planted. A sunflower looks beautiful regardless of where it grows.

Choice is a personal thing.

I can choose to turn to my savoir for help when I feel overwhelmed with crazy classes and crazier teachers.    

I can choose to see the experience of moving as an opportunity to step out on my own and grow as an adult.

I can choose to support my friends in their decisions, even if it means sacrificing some of my selfishness when I lose them. 

At the end of the day, it's good to accept the fact that there are a lot of variables that can't be controlled in life. Darn you life for being hard and confusing. Darn you for trying to teach me that I don't always run the show. Darn you for attempting to get something through my thick skull.

But thanks for being worth it.